Okay خسخ ÷ شةam going to talk like I do when really not feeling well. Today was crappy. I felt like shit the entire day. What the hell is wrong with me? Some days go so well and everything looks dandy. I look in the mirror, my eyes are bloodshot and I want to scream at life. I have life pretty good too, so I shouldn't complian either. It just sucks and I really, really want everyone to leave me alone and stop seeing me the way I am in their opinions because that is not who I am. I am an ass hole but I don't want people to think that because I don't want to be one. I know, I contradict myself. That is because I want to be thought well of without having to do anything to make myself deserve who I am. It makes me really question my beliefs,and see that I have a lot of double standards. "Why the fuck do I give advice anywayز
آخ ةخقث فاهىلس ساخعمي لاث حقثسعةثي فخ ثءهسف فاشى شقث شلاسخمعفثمغ ىثؤشسسشقغز
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3 comments:
Adria, I hear you. It's okay to want to be seen in a good light. That's normal. When looking at yourself though, remember that you are cleansed by His blood. He has started His work in transforming you and He will not leave it alone until it is completed. Yeah it happens in His timing not ours and we then go through times of self-loathing and hatred. Those are the times when I need to go back to Him as dirty and horrid as I think/feel/know that I am.
It's okay to see the double standards and to question beliefs. Just try to not let that consume you. Write it all out and look at it as a logic exercise. This is what I think about this but it's different in these circumstances - why? Don't be afraid to dig at what you believe. For me, it only serves to shake off the extraneous and allow me to become more solidified in the core of who I am and what I hold as truth.
Whether you feel pretty or assholish, remember that I love you.
We will never be what we want to be, and I think the trick is to not look at what we are because we'll never be happy, but rather at what we're becoming, or trying to become, and taking steps towards that.
It's frightening to question one's beliefs, but it ought to be done, from time to time.
I think that...a life entirely devoid of double standards is probably unattainable on earth.
You give advice because you have a wise perspective that people ought to hear and ought to listen to. They should accept your advice with the addendum that you are a fallen person, and your life and advice reflect that, but they should accept it anyway.
You guys make me so thankful.
I pray God blesses you a hundred folds over what you both have done for me. Which would be pretty explosive I am sure.
Katie- Right I have God with me. Shall I fall when I have so much power to strengthen me?
I have been digging at what I believe, I feel more certian that I can continue from a fall and keep climbing the path. Not to give up. Thank you.
Hans- You are absolutely right. Of course I am human, I don't need too wallow in the mud about that fact. Actually we just talked about this..(at one point anyway. *grins*)
I guess everyone should be given a chance to share their own advice right? It is up to the person listening or not listening to accept. *smile*
SCACE
Adri
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